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The Calling

THE CALLING

       Anita met Jesus Christ in a tiny Pentecostal church in Silverton, NJ on a Sunday night in April. 1982. A shy non-practicing Catholic girl, in bondage for many years and haunted by many ghosts of  abuse, rape, shame and hopelessness. A glorious healing light burst through that night, even though she trembled under the growling, accusing voice of the  tattoo-biceped, ex marine, who slammed his fist on his  worn pulpit. His glittering black eyes bore through her.

   "If you die tonight in a car accident.. Will you go to heaven or burn in hell?"

       She declared the salvation prayer and in that small church, Anita finally found a loving, accepting family that she had always wanted. She bloomed, making up for many lost years, enrolling in college  and graduating at the top of her class, Magna cum laude.  The earning of that degree was interrupted though, by the courtship with a demented man who threatened to kill her if she didn't marry him.  That domestic violent season which lasted almost two years   nearly took away her  exuberant faith and  new-found  nursing home ministry. But Christ never abandoned her.

Healing took place and resilience set her back on track. She met  lead guitarist, Chris Durante at a church picnic where he invited her to front his Christian rock band with him. The Lord began to hone Anita in her new role as lead vocalist-lyricist of "The Promise" and Chris, her and the band shared the Gospel of Christ to the NJ, PA and NY maximum security prisons, family festivals and community showcases.

Anita also grew in leadership positions, teaching behavior modification classes at Nutri-System Weight Loss Centers and as a youth advocate for  Youth Advocate Program. Just as she was enjoying her life, strange and debilitating  symptoms sent her to the hospital where she was given a diagnosis of Lyme disease. 1992 was riddled with hospital intravaneous Rosephin  treatments and Amomoxicillin antibiotic.

The next several years, with her immune system breaking down and battling many episodes of bronchial infections she almost died from carbon monoxide poisoning from her apartment's broken heater. The carbon monoxide did serious damage to her brain and deep depression set in and she was unable to sustain employment.

 But God wasn't finished with her yet. She found herself once more with hope and found another accepting family at non-profit Christian outreach,  Love in the Name of Christ, in the Fall of 1998.  Executive Director,  Carolyn Eyerman and project Manager, Joan Hodem saw  things in Anita she never knew she had. The six years there taught her even more about people and serving their needs. This was also where her journey with the guitar started!

Finding a Cure for Dystonia

Finding a Cure for Dystonia

Finding a Cure For Dystonia

Finding a Cure for dystonia

Jewelry and designs

finding my voice (BIO)

Joy in the Journey

Giant Slayer

Chasing 'em down, one at a time...

So, Anita Ivette Ferrer, was a gentle and fragile girl, easily frightened by the Outer Limits electricity monster and intimidated by her mother's raging temper tandtrums. Nonetheless, she had a dream. She sketched and sang and composed poetry  in careful calligraphy hand.

 A traumatic and threatening  encounter with a bullying classmate in her favorite art class shattered her pre-conceived notion that people were kind and could be trusted. The bullying continued till graduation day and she wore her cloak of shame and rejection like a weighted anchor. Doors don't swing open wide for  those who've suffered bullying,  abuse, poverty and/or molestation.

 But  in  April of 1982, Jesus Christ  opened wide  the door of grace and Anita walked through. Decades of deeply ingrained traumas and negative events were assuagged and she began to see more clearly that she had worth and God had a plan for her life..

Enrolling at Brookdale Community College, Anita  discovered that door of favor swung wide open and she rediscovered her poetry, singing and art. No longer fearful and distrusting of people, she was deeply curious and disturbed about injustice and social issues. er professors were impressed with her  empathy and passion to pursue studies in the humanities. Graduating with high honors despite great financial hardship and a violent failed, marriage, Anita knew that the best was yet to come.

     Anita's journey with Christ led her to chase and slay many giants, particularly health.  Lyme Disease  came in 1992 and then  carbon monoxide poisoning almost took her life in  1997.All during this time, Anita chronicled her life events through  her journaling and then came an invitation to learn the guitar.

   Her health lost it;s resilience from the damaging environmental assaults on her nervous system, but her love for composing songs and performing continued. Then were  menntoring broken women,  youth outreach and hospice. Outwardly, it looked as if Anita's continual suffering and down-spiraling health would  diminish her calling, but herdevotion and trust in Christ's promises was her saving grace and anchor.

Despite her present and most daunting giant, oromandibular-TMJ Dystonia from mercury poisoning, she continues to sing, write about and express her gratitude of facing death...and helping others to live!

Anita hopes to find a cure for the Dystonia so that she can travel and tour, speaking and singing about overcoming and getting better with age.Her heart beats for the glorious expectation of God's best through her. She hopes that her music and art will provoke intimacy with Christ and a deep empathy for hurt and broken people. She champions the  underrdog because she is a giant slayer.

 

In these turbulent and uncertain times, I must focus on peace.  I am a warrior-soldier, serving under  my commander-in-chef,  Jesus Christ.

 

BLOG

Be FRUITFUL! 

So, a dear friend sent me a very informative link about food storage after the grid shuts down. Preparing for very hard times is becoming a priority for wise people and I am thankful that I have women friends who are sharp, innovative and concerned about loved ones, friends and neighbors’ survival in the near future. You men will also find the prepping blogs useful and informative.

When my husband Mark and I lived in our riverfront home, I had a wonderful garden where I grew corn, tomatoes and squash. We saved a lot of money at the grocery store and it was a delight to watch the seeds sprout into full-grown vegetables for cooking and eating. We would be wise to utilize our backyards now and practice growing our own organic produce.

I recently watched some excellent preparing videos and hearing bout my friend Teresa’s canning protocol, I decided to include a section, (in my blog) on living abundantly when scarcity and hardship abounds. I asked Teresa of she would partner with me about prepping blogs and she obliged. She has a plethora of experience, information and success in many prepping areas.

It would behoove all of us, to have an open mind and research preparing for end times as much as possible because we cannot depend on the government for help. We women are blessed with great emotional and physical resiliency and according to Proverbs 31, we achieve and succeed greatly in many areas, including

Let us review from Proverbs 31 about her wealth of talents and abilities which include resourcefulness, organization, farming, sewing, real estate dealings and community-civic affairs.

10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.15 She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

I encourage all you amazing sisters to seek God’s wisdom for how you are t prepare your family for the coming difficult times. God be with you in this prepping journey!

i

Marching to the Beat of a Different Drum 

 

Journal Entry, Monday, June 21, 2021

It’s already midway through the year. For those of us enduring long seasons of difficult health, our lives may became nothing more than a blur of mindless, boring chores and nondescript activity. We may struggle not falling into hopelessness and apathy. My violent facial and mouth spasms have yet to diminished despite rigorously adhering to my latest cleansing-detox protocol. My sleep has been disrupted for several nights having the need to use the toilet. And the past several days I’ve lain on my carpet for hours because of heart palpitations and severe weakness , (and staying near the bathroom because of severe stomach issues).

This blog is brought to you today in the hopes that my transparency and vulnerability will inspire and empathize with you precious guys and gals who I connect with on the the Facebook Christian Lyme Disease, Morgellon’s Disease, Dystonia, and Mold CRS and Mercury Poisoning groups. The daily reality of enduring excruciating, unrelenting pain and depression staggers my imagination as I read some of the posts. Sometimes someone posts that their beloved Facebook friend died from their condition or worse yet, committed suicide.

It breaks my heart to know that each and every one of them was created in God’s own image.. Many of you are young, between the ages of 25 and 45. As you unabashedly express your pain, I ask the Lord for the words that may assuage your suffering, even momentarily. After I leave my computer, many thoughts race through my mind.

Why do some suffer much more than others? Why are there so many catastrophic illnesses that destroy the persons destiny, health, marriage, finances and dreams? Why, for the most part, is the medical establishment unable to properly diagnose and/or treat disabling conditions like Lyme, Morgellons, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s , Dystonia, Metal-mercury poisoning? So many variables contribute to a chronic, disabling condition., yet getting relief from suffering is still a mystery.

Whenever I have a bad day, (and there are often too many lately) and I am crying out to God in agony and frustration, I say, “I cannot take one more day of this!” And Holy Spirit reminds me…

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power i made perfect in your weakness.”

I huff and I puff and when I feel better I remember the old days. (Weren’t they always better and memorable?) Yes, indeed, before I was hit with the TMJ Dystonia , (and the past year, a severe lung fungus,) I sang effortlessly and played guitar sometimes for four hours for a private event or restaurant gig. Lately, I gasp for breath unless I do warm-up breathing exercises to be able to sing for my pastor’s services and my conference calls. I have to ask for help just to sing, to get through the day and just about anything that requires physical endurance. God is faithful, though, always supplying what we need, when we need it! I’m most grateful when He gives me the strength to get out of my comfort zone and get my eyes off myself and encourage and love on someone else who is suffering more than I.

So how does one stay focused on the Lord and keep the dream alive? My book, Marching to the Beat of a Different Drum has been halted yet again for the fourth time, lol. . Organizing the different chapters is difficult, but my blogging-journaling and song lyric-writing continues to be a source of emotional stability. Intimacy and growth with Abba Father, Jesus and holy Spirit continue to draw me and I am thankful that They are always accessible to me unlike my music, where I have yet to find my niche.

Being unique in my multi-cultural heritage, and extremely unconventional in my musical artistry, ( I have yet to find a following who delights o hear my jazz and out-of-the-box guitar chordings, I continue to search for a music platform where different genres collide and merge. On the music, (and positive side of my life), I rejoined TAXI A&R music platform and have made some great connections. (I’d become disheartened and unmotivated and disconnected from other musicians since my beloved friend and music mentor-CEO, Kieith Mohr, closed shop on Christian music network, Indie Heaven). I was devastated for half a year because as a housebound, person, my internet relationships were the few joyful activities available to me at the time.

Last month, I re-evaluated my music path-momentum and decided it was time to regroup and move forward. I’ve pitched some songs to some interesting Taxi listings. I’ve had to encourage myself in God though, because the release last year, of my 6th album, Mod Prophet was not received as I’d expected. Its tracking began in 2007 and now the songs are outdated. So much for spending over 10 grand and working with outstanding musicians and the album going nowhere:( All I can hope for is to pitch to “vintage’ 90s rock. music listings and hope it gets placed with a film or music documentary.

One of the Taxi music forum members introduced us to a great website where artists can find producers or session musicians to collaborate with. An awesome R&B Gospel producer responded to my proposal to work on new songs, which i already have in preparation to record my third worship CCM album. I have been anxious to track my Psalm 91, which i wrote in 2009, (and which was received amazingly at a funeral service.. I will never forget that day. Mark told me that a prophetess who had a spiritual gift of seeing into the spiritual realm saw cherubim dancing around me as I sang and Played my Psalm 91!. God has blessed me with many divine musical experiences with the gift of worship.

So, you may say after reading this blog. What’s the purpose?

You are God’s creation. If God be for you, who can be against you?! Whatever your ailment or the devastation and disablement of your body…

Excuse me…between abrupt interruptions and runs to the bathroom. LOL…Nothing can separate you from God’s love. Not Lyme, Dytonia, Cancer, Fibromylgia, Morgellons Disease,.nor divorce, spouse or child’s death, poverty, homelessness, etc.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Rom 8 38 &39

You need to memorize and declare this scripture each day or whenever you lose sight of your divine person hood and calling. Don’t say, “I don’t have a gift. I’m not talented in anything or I cannot do anything anymore because of my condition”. Those are lies from the enemy! You are fearfully and wonderfully made. The enemy may have thwarted your momentum, but take heart, ask Jesus for help, get up, and start running again! Your participation in the holy race of life is not a sprint it’s a marathon. You are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses and our spiritual foremothers and forefathers didn’t always receive their promise or prize while they were alive.. but they kept their eyes on the Prize, Jesus Christ our Redeemer and friend.

I ‘m a bit old and quite fragile physically to tour and stir up a music ruckus. My dream of being a successful and respected artists may never happen, but I’m at peace about giving my utmost to my artistry, nurturing my precious relationships and most of all, giving my best to the Lord. Beloved, may your priorities be ordered as is pleasing to our Heavenly Father, as Jesus did! Shalom and bless you.

THE CURE 

Checking on my Facebook emails a few days ago, I saw a picture of Jada Pinket Smith. The post announced the suicide death of Miss USA 2019, Cheslie Kryst. I could not believe that such a beautiful , talented and vivacious young woman could end her life and by the time I listened to the accompanying video, I was in tears. I could certainly relate to her struggle and thought about my own many years and accompanying health battles that made my struggle almost unbreakable. The ugly voices of self-loathing, unworthiness and shame hammered me when my symptoms were most vicious and despite having many dreams and goals, I had to postpone endeavors many times.

The hardest thing about severe depression is that only those suffering it can understand. Suicide affects all people of every ethnicity,, religious denomination. and family background. Christians and pastors are no exception o this epidemic. I have read reports of vivacious and devoted young pastors ending their lives. Suicide has devastated the lives and faiths of many families and communities.

I’m compelled to share a word of hope to those who suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts. Because of my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, I knew thta I was not without hope. Coming from an extremely traumatic family background and upbringing and suffering more traumatic assaults as a young adult, I believed I was born to be cursed and nonredeemable. Bible study, church and prayer did little to assuage this constant battering. But I prayed that god would lead me to some releif. My searching led me to the internet, to Pastor Derrik Prince’s sermon videos on You Tube. Through his anointed teaching, I found that depression is a spirit.

I do not wish to make this a long and complicated bog, but I encourage you to seek the Lord Jesus for your mental and emotional pain. He took on all our infirmities through His redeeming sacrifice and He wishes you to walk in abundance and joy. For some of us with family iniquities and strongholds, (substance abuse, pornography, molestation and physical abuse) the journey may be more difficult. A sensitive and gifted Christian deliverance counselor can help you have victory over depression and any other demonic stronghold.

I also add that certain health issues can also contribute to depression, such as malabsorbtion, diabetes, , toxins, neurotransmitter abnormalities, fluoride, mercury, poor diet, and mold.

Jesus Christ is the only cure for every malady that afflicts mankind. May we not walk in condemnation or judgment to those who can’t get it together as quickly as we can. Get help by calling a suicide hotline. PRAY and ask Jesus to lead you to your source of help.

http://anthemofhope.org/#needsomeonetotalkto

https://www.christiansuicideprevention.com/

https://theactionalliance.org/faith-hope-life/stephen-ministries

Prayer, Heavenly Father, thank you for sending your Son Jesus to be our sacrifice, healer and deliverer. Help me to seek Him with all my heart and connect me with those who walk in victory and authority as they stand with me o be completely delivered and set free! In Jesus name amen.

Purchase Music

MOD PROPHET

Anita Ferrer

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Christ-Centered rock social commentary Collection

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The Anointing, His Presence

Anita Ivette Ferrer

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Praise and worship collection during my difficult health journey. Jazzy-folly and pop rock Gospel originals.

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GROOVE

Anita Ivette Ferrer

Christian jazz hip-hop, neo soul and pop-urban . Special guest producer, Reverend Kevin Nunn, Cross Row Productions.

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I"LL FLY HIGH

Anita Ivette Ferrer

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MY debut album, song collection Produced by Ernie Wilkens, Gary Dates and Daryl Dahrouge. An eclectric collection of folk-rock, jazz hip-hop and jazz rock.

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Teach us to number our days that we may apply our hearts to wisdom. KJV” - Moses

— The Bible

Guestbook

Finding a Cure for DystoniA

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Collaborations

Lead Guitarist, Chris Durante

Guitar Artistry

So,  I met Chris Durante at a church picnic in the summer of 1989 and he asked me if I would front his  Christian hard Rock Band, The Promise. I was just a folk soprano who sang a capella with twin sisters in ursing homes. Who knew that God was preparing me for greater ministry and service  to people through my non profit Brave Flame  Productions.  Chris 's artistry has embellished most of my songs and albums over the years and  we are grateful for the influence and inspiration of the the Holy Spirit through us frail and fragile instruments!

John Mulrenan, producer-engineer, Acorn Digital, Howell, NJ has also been a long-time friend and music partner. He has lent his artistry to my projects on keyboards, piano, bass and programming.  His expertise has been invaluable. He is an underrated and transcendent talent!

And last, but not least is my  talented  husband, Mark, who has been my sound engineer.since we married. His extensive  experience  doing sound for NJ's best  bands has been  a valuable asset to my music. Bless God for giving me such a devoted  husband!

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serving people/filling needs

All People Matter

From singing and comforting elderly, lonely people to mentoring kids from  challenged family backgrounds, Anita understands people.

God Loves People

Areas of Ministry

1982  Nursing Home Ministry

1989   Maximum Security Prisons & Correctional Facilities

The Promise Christian Band

1998   Love in the Name of Christ  Christian non-Profit

Coordinator: Just the Right Touch

One on One Mentoring,  Helping  welfare recipients & displaced homemakers transition to the work force, supplying appropriate business clothing & resumes & mentoring, 

Youth Advocate YAP, Youth Advocate Program.

Mentoring youth in social & life skills: liaison between parents/guardians  with  social service agencies

2002 Vocal & Guitar Instructor 

Beginner to advance vocal instruction

2002-2017  Telephone Book distributor PDC

2005  Brave Flame Productions & Outreach inception non-profit entity

Homeless outreach, food & Clothing, Evangelism, Hospice & Bedside  Ministry, Funeral and Wake Ministry

Music & Entertainment 

Church & Family Events, Private Corporate functions,  First Communion & Baptism  events