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IT’S OKAY!

So, I fell upon this YouTube Video yesterday.. There are oodles of Videos on the feed, but something drew me to this one. As the AGT , America’s Got Talent crew conversed with Jane, Nightbird, I was intrigued listening to her story and even more intrigued listening to her performance. I went to her links and was amazed.

Here is a brief bio of her life:

Jane Marczewski lived a beautiful life full of vision, creativity, and passion. As she pursued her career in music, she received news that no one saw coming: a breast cancer diagnosis. Determined to beat the odds, she fought for a miracle. In the midst of her fight Jane was invited to audition for America’s Got Talent and on June 8th, 2021 she performed her song, “It’s OK,” and won the hearts of millions and the AGT judges as she received Simon Cowell’s golden buzzer. The grasp of cancer was too strong for her body to overcome, and she dropped out of the AGT competition. Jane passed away on February 19, 2022, but left a lasting legacy of hope in Jesus that cannot be laid to rest, and her spirit is still impacting the lives of souls around the world through her music and her foundation.

I briefly want to share that I am part of several Facebook support groups: Christian Lyme Disease, Mold Illness, TMJ/Dystonia and EMF Sensitive groups. Many there are almost suicidal, but also there are some who always contribute uplifting scriptures and encouragement without resentment or bitterness. The ones who declare confidently and consistently, ” I shall not die, but live and declare the works of the Lord, Psalm 118:l7 are the ones who will blaze Jesus’ testimony of divine healing and restoration.

Jane’s statement, “You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy” is one all of us suffering from chronic, painful illness live by. I am one of them and I have to decide to choose thankfulness. I have to decide to ask God to make me a blessing to someone. And I must choose each day not to drag others into my misery, but lift them out of their pit by prayer, empathy and love action!

So this is a short one and may Jesus make you a conduit of His grace, mercy and kindness, starting today!

Joy in the journey.  I'd always hoped that the road would gently unwind before me as i struggled to ascend to higher heights, while being pushed backwards, by the  continual and daunting symptoms of my many ailments. Just last week, as I was uploading my original songs and past gigs, to this website, i remembered  the anguish and  exhaustion   of supporting myself by delivering telephone books during the  day and  most evenings, I would be performing at the Oakland House, a private  event or a local tavern. My love for composing on the guitar and collaborating on original music with  John DeGrazio and Kyle Hicks saved me from suicidal  thoughts. God always made a way for me to  get fund to produce and record my songs in the studio.  I'll never forget  crying out  to God as I pushed a hand truck loaded with heavy telephone books, wondering why I wasn't touring with my band and respected.   The staggering fatigue from the  Lyme symptoms and  my carbon monoxide poisoning episode made me feel inferior and cursed,  The constant eking out a living wore down my spirits often and i wondered what my destiny was. 

      Angst, disappointment and regret, weighed me down often during my long Dystonia battle. but as I've finally come of age this late in my life, I acquiesce to the reality of Christ being my solid foundation. God's precepts have sheltered me from the sting of hatred, unforgiveness and retaliation. I know that His peace tempers me to have a grateful heart and make the most of every opportunity, however small.  I cherish, Moses' Psalm 90:12.

       Teach us to number our days that we may know wisdom.   

      No need to keep asking  Father God..."why"

       In the past, I often felt ,my creative and musical endeavors were not allowed to bear  the fruit they deserved for whatever reason. i wanted to be successful fashion designer, best selling author, renowned poet or well-loved music icon. too often, my creations had to be postponed indefinitely because of   constant interruptions of lie-threatening illnesses.. Worse yet, fewer and fewer invitations came as people became aware that the TMJ Dystonia symptoms  were diminishing my . I noticed with great anxiety, that my vocal prowess and guitar skill was also strained.  I'd expected  that I'd  get better with age, not worse.

       And so,, I determined in my heart, I would push forward no matter how much it hurt. I could not quit because of what Christ did for me. He destined me to be a conqueror and i was to  be a role model for precious  girls and women whose lives were shattered by trauma. As I scan  the horizon of my future, I'm assured that  He will bring beauty out of the ashes.  Behold, He arose  and redeemed me! 

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