NOTE: Very sensitive information to be shared in the hopes of making us aware of the supernatural world of spirits, both good and evil. I had no idea about ungodly entities until after I became born-again and now realize, (through Christ) how we can indeed pray and deliver our precious family members. There is no blame in this blog, only great compassion for our precious siblings who had suffered abuse, molestation and/or abandonment. May we be courageous and report abuse to the proper authorities and seek help from compassionate teachers, adults and law enforcement. Those adult siblings presently caught in the throes of drug abuse, alcohol and/or incarceration were victims, but with Christ, counseling, deliverance and prayer they can be emancipated. Hallelujah!
I didn’t expect to to receive the news of my sisters passing via Facebook and I just about fainted when the truth sunk My brother-in-law’s message was short and polite. The news hit me like a ton of bricks and I flew off the edge of a cliff in a barrage of tears. I quickly sought my husband to inform him of the news. Thankfully, he was home and I fell into his arms.
So many turbulent thoughts whirled in my mind. How did she die? Why did she not call my other two sisters or me to share her burden And most important of all, did she reach out to Jesus in her last moments?
I called a prayer warrior Christian sister for prayer, asking that I would get some closure and answers through a conversation with my sister’s husband,. We hadn’t spoken in , years. God answered my prayer, for the very next day, my sister’s husband Gerry called , For two hours, my husband, Mark and listened closely as Gerry shared how my sister lived with terrible pain, morning, noon and night. She placed tissue boxes in every room because she cried so much for the pain. Gerry told us she was also was also on pain killers and many harmful drugs which, most likely affected her heath. She was in the hospital for a month and was terminal. I was weeping almost the whole time. Mark and I were shocked to hear of Bo’s suffering, the lackadaisical treatment by the military medical personnel who treated her and her deep depression.
That all being said, I do not wish this blog to be totally tragic ,however heartbreaking Bo’s devastating health journey was and her passing. I do have many bittersweet memories and special times I had with her. Though I mourn the lost years my sisters and I suffered because of unfair and traumatic childhoods, (because of our parent’s generational strongholds), I choose to unconditionally love my other two living sisters. I forgive my deceased parents, They raised us as best as they could and I release regret, to Father God who is the all gracious and all perfect father!
I urge mother and fathers Not beat their little ones when they wet their beds. I believe my sister’s wounds began with her bed wedding, a result of our parents daily fighting. My German mother didn’t tolerate back talk of any kind and anyone who answered back had their bedrooms ripped apart and got a good beating. For that my sister was despised. And over the years, even into adulthood, my sister always had strife with the other two sisters. (and unrequited sibling rivalry with me). I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that her inner violent conflicts was what contributed to her being miserable, angry, getting Graves Disease and later, Cancer.
I’ve learned through years of trauma counseling, that unforgiveness, rage, bitterness open the doors to chronic illness and pain. I knew that if I were to live an abundant and productive life, I would have to choose the road of forgiveness, unconditional love and Christ’s redemptive power of transformation. I am a survivor and I will not allow my sisters life to be in vain.
I want to remember and celebrate the special things that made her…her.
One of Bo’s happiest and fulfilling times was as female lead singer of her wedding band. She had a beautiful voice and loved dance and pop music. I also remember our times as teen-agers enjoying our week-ends at the Eatontown Roller rink. Bo became a great roller skater and when the keyboardist played her favorites songs, she exploded in joy. My sisters and my most fun memories were from our times together at the roller rink!
Bo was very photogenic and I often dressed her up and did dramatic make-up on her face for my portrait and modeling sessions. I was just learning to experiment with my Canon camera and my sisters were my models.
Bo always struggled with being a military wife, being separated from her family. She so relished times when she traveled to New Jersey to stay with my father or me for a few weeks. I remember one time she stayed with me at my loft apartment and I gave her the Qyeen treatment for several weeks. She enjoyed the amazing meals I cooked for her and it was great to see her happy! I wanted to show her how loved and cherished she was.
Bo’s great joy was her dogs. They were her babies and she was very attached to them. We’ve had countless conversations about their shenanigans and just s many pictures of her and her “fur babies”.
Bo’s most memorable and precious event was marrying her beloved best friend and soulsmate, Gerry. I tailored her wedding dress and photographed her wedding. It was one of her brightest days and Mark and I have been blessed to welcome and love Gerry into our family and hearts!
My desire regarding my sister’s passing to to give glory of God, as Job did. That even in the event God slays me, yet shall I praise Him. I draw my focus not on the tragedy and unfairness of Bo’s great suffering and her passing,, but to understand that she did know who Christ was and is probably now in perfect health and dancing with Jesus!
So, to end this blog, I share some advice on those who have siblings both very young ones or adult.
During a conflict or big fight, be he first one to apologize or reconcile.
Work on being humble and compassionate, even if a sibling is quarrelsome or unreasonable. Pray and ask Jesus to help you.
Get a good Bible and read-meditate daily.
If you see abuse or there is sexual abuse with you or your sibling, share with a trusted teacher and/or compassionate adult.
Learn to forgive and make effort to reconcile and work out differences
If you are a child or teen, work on conquering your sibling rivalry and focus on your own special talents and giftings. You are unique and wonderfully created by your heavenly Father.
If you are the eldest sibling, (as I was) and the most sensitive and able to communicate well, contact your priest, pastor or Sunday School teacher and ask them to contact your parents if there is child abuse and/or neglect. I most regret being very timid and easily traumatized by my parents anger, fighting and their harsh treatment of us girl. Had I been more courageous to confront my mother, perhaps Bo’s diminished adult life would not have been so.
May my precious sister live in eternal peace and joy with her Savior, Jesus Christ!
Prayer: Heavenly Father, give me wisdom and kindness, guidance and grace as I deepen my relationship with my sister. Give me a heart that listens with compassion. Let me know when to keep silence and when to tell the truth in love. Give me the courage to stand and defend her when she is attacked or abused. and send me the right adult who will intervene and counsel in regard to the health and safety of my family. I thank you precious Father, and ask this in the name of your beloved son, Jesus, my Savior and Lord, Amen.